Six Second Sunday


These six sentences are from an action scene involving Olive, one of my characters, in my contemporary fantasy/action-adventure Miasma.  This is the book I’m considering publishing Indie once I finish it in December.  Olive is a military enlisted woman and sidekick to the main character.

One sharp pull — both her feet came out from under her, and she went down, face first into the ground. The backpack fell under her, the gun she could not get at digging into her hip bones.

Two seconds of surprise. That’s all she allowed herself before she kicked her brain out of the shock of the fall. Even that may have been too much. She was much smaller than he was and recognized that he was stronger than her.

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24 thoughts on “Six Second Sunday

    1. Olive kicks the bad guy in the jaw. That’s something I wouldn’t have thought of it wasn’t for the book Write the Fight Right, by Alan Baxter. It says that women have almost equal strength in their legs.

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  1. I had a hard time visualizing this… I get the face-plant, and I’m assuming her legs were jerked out from under her? But, if she’s falling forward, how can she land on top of the backpack? Wouldn’t it be on her back?

    It’s not until the last line that there’s a mention of another person, so honestly, the first time I read this, I thought she tripped. Because there’s no mention until the last line, I’m not even really sure how it connects to the other sentences. It doesn’t sound like he fell on top of her or is holding her down or anything, so why is there a comparison of strength?

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