Mansplaining to Women Veterans

Kristine Kathryn Rusch has a post on Facebook that’s gotten pretty interesting, and a lot of comments.  It’s on mansplaining.

Mansplaining is when a man with lesser experience, or even no knowledge lectures to a woman who has that experience. It implies that she is ignorant because of her gender.  Pretty much it’s: “You don’t know what you’re talking about and I do because I’m a guy.”

Even if he has no clue what he’s talking about.

That happened on Absolute Write. I was answering a writer’s question about the military, and mentioned that most military people don’t use profanity non-stop the way Hollywood depicts it.

It’s one of those things that depends on the type of unit, the rank of the people and even the people themselves.  I know the all male military ones do use more because they have trouble interacting around women soldiers.  And I’ve been in an “adult” unit where the culture was no profanity.  In my truck driver unit, there were some people who used none at all, some who used it sometimes, and ones who got themselves into trouble because they couldn’t turn it off.

It also depends on the book itself and who the readers are.  If you’re writing a romance with a military character, there is no way that you want any profanity landing in that book.  But a military thriller…yeah, some would be appropriate and expected by the audience.  Military science fiction, too.

Male writer who had never been in the military trots onto the board and explains that I was wrong.  That any military character would not be realistically depicted with out the non-stop profanity.

Really?  He told this to a veteran?

The feel of the military in a story isn’t INSERT PROFANITY HERE.  It starts with understanding the difference between the officers and enlisted, and what the rank structure means in relation to your characters.  Without that, profanity’s not going to help.

With the dam bursting over MeToo, there’s been a lot of articles about the women veteran’s experience.  I remember one where the various organizations like Veterans of Foreign Wars were complaining about membership being low, and women commented that they did not feel welcome.  Many of them said things like they were treated like a veteran’s wife, not as a veteran.

The men promptly jumped in and explained that none of the women knew what they were talking about.  Their local chapter wasn’t like that at all, so we were all just plain mistaken.  And besides, they lectured, if we thought the system was broken, we should join and fix it.


Not every man does mansplaining.

The problem is that the women veterans struggle to have their voices heard because there are those that are busy trying to drown it out.  We need to do better.